A few nights ago, Daniel and I were awoken by a huge WHAPWHOPBOOMBOOOOMBOOOM noise, and our entire RV started rocking back and forth.
Awoken this way deep in the midst of an REM cycle, I grabbed our dog and started picturing that we were being hit by lightning. I really thought I was going to die. This is a highly logical assumption, as it was storming hardcore. Plus, you know, the crazy noise and the shaking.
Daniel later told me he thought a school bus had run into our RV.
See that beautiful thing? See how it keeps the muddy mud dry? See the shade? Gorgeous.
Now I’ll tell you, I have a slightly unhealthy obsession with that awning. Ever since we put it up, it’s been my favorite thing. I put up the outdoor cinema out there (AKA blow up mattress, extension cords, tv). I sit out there when I’m hangry and Daniel isn’t done cooking. When it’s raining outside, you can still walk around and not have a mud shoe.
It’s a great thing. So when I found out that it looked like this:
I had what I call “an Inappropriate Emotional Response.”
I cried. I really did. I cried my little eyes out. Because all of a sudden, it wasn’t just that the awning was broken. It was that, plus this other thing.
There is this other bad thing that’s happened the last few weeks. The farmers installed this thing called a “ram pump” near our RV that irrigates the fields using the creek nearby.
You guys know the creek, right? The one I love so much? That lulls me to sleep every night? First thing I hear in the morning?
Well, if you’ve never been around a ram pump, let me try to give you a few examples of what it sounds like.
1) A three year old holding a hammer and a metal pan and banging repeatedly in your ear
2) The world’s largest metronome
3) Someone holding a giant metal glockenspiel trying to keep time with music, but bless them they can’t keep time to save their lives.
This has slowly, subtly been wearing on my nerves the last few weeks. Because no more reading outside, no more sitting in the solitude and silence. Only the ding, ding, ding of a giant baby playing with a metal glockenspiel.
So when the awning broke, I had the Inappropriate Emotional Response. And I spiraled.
I’ll try to track how quickly my Inappropriate Emotional Responses escalate in situations like this.
1) Our awning is broken
2) Stupid Ram Pump
3) Our awning will no longer be a part of this RV
4) The awning is the only thing I currently like about living in this RV
5) The ram pump means I can’t even lay outside in my hammock anymore
6) Now living in this RV is terrible
7) If living in this RV is terrible, then living here is terrible
8) Living in NC is stupid
9) We’re stupid for moving here
10) Everything is bad.
Now. I will tell you some facts, lest you all rush over here and comfort me (please? Will you? Ben and Jerry’s?)
1) The ram pump will be done June 23rd
2) Awnings can be fixed.
So with that rationale, I feel much better today. But you know, for a good twelve hours, I entered a black hole of despair.
I really do need to work on a more logical step by step process when upset.
When pigs fly, eh?